If Only I Had
by Ayra Sei Ethari
Summary: To each his or her own – Ron, the wand; Hermione, the cloak; and Harry, the stone.


**_If Only I Had_**

_Summary:_ To each his or her own – Ron, the wand; Hermione, the cloak; and Harry, the stone.

_Rating:_ K

_Genre:_ general

_Canon Character(s):_ Ronald Weasley ; Hermione Granger ; Harry Potter

_OC Character(s):_ none

_Set During:_ TDH, when they visit Xenophilius Lovegood

_Note:_ This explores each of the Golden Trio's preferred Deathly Hallows object and reasons why, with references from the actual book. Just playing in the sandbox a little, exploring the characters – no major changes to the storyline. And each little section is done in the first POV in the present tense of the character being discussed.

And, yes, the summary rhymed – but this is NOT a poem.

* * *

_"I think you're right," she told him. "It's just a morality tale, it's obvious which gift is best, which one you'd choose – "_

_ They all spoke at the same time; Hermione said, "the cloak," Ron said, "the wand," and Harry said, "the stone."

* * *

_

"_You're _supposed_ to say the Cloak," Ron told Hermione, "but you wouldn't need to be invisible if you had the wand. _An unbeatable wand_, Hermione, come on!"_

The words leave my mouth before I can think them over properly, and I regret and applaud them in equal amounts. But they were just so easy to say – they slipped out, in common fashion whenever I'm with friends. After all, it's just Hermione and Harry. They know me. And I know them. It's no big deal.

Except . . . Except, it kind of is.

This is one of the only times that we have had such a simple yet fundamental disagreement over a choice we could make. Okay, true, I did start a rather large firestorm by leaving, but . . .

But this is different.

This is hypothetical. It isn't real. It's just . . . ideal. Like that mirror Harry found six, seven years ago.

Ideal.

What we _want_. Not what is. What could be, in our best daydreams.

And for me, now that I know, that best daydream would be the Elder Wand firmly in my possession.

True, the Invisibility Cloak is cool. It can hide people. It never wears off. No one ever sees us. No one else knows about it. And it is ancient yet in perfect condition, as crazy old Lovegood described. But it's a _cloak_. Why have a cloak when you could have the wand and cast a Disillusionment Charm for the same effect? And more space and maneuverability too.

And, yeah, sure, the Resurrection Stone is intriguing. But it brings back the dead. Which, despite being slightly cool, is also slightly creepy. And it caused the second brother to supposedly commit suicide. And there's no one I want to resurrect either. Except maybe my Uncle Bilius. But wand versus stone? Definite winner = wand.

With that wand, I could do anything.

I could finally beat Hermione in wand-working for once.

I could perhaps finally beat Harry to save the world for once.

For once, I could be the hero, the best, the one girls swoon over and teachers applaud and family members go nuts over.

For once.

The Elder Wand could make the scene I saw in that freaky mirror a reality. I _could_ be Quidditch Captain. I _could_ be Head Boy. I _could_ be an Auror. I could be everything I wanted to be and more. I could be the best Weasley of my entire family, and people would remember me for ages and ages after I died.

Remember me for being _me_ – Ronald Bilius Weasley.

Not just a sidekick of the Golden Trio.

Me.

Of course, if I was that famous, I guess I really would need to start casting Disillusionment Charms to avoid all the girls. . .

The one downside.

Oh well. I could live with it. Not easily, but it'd be better than where I was now.

If only I had the Elder Wand. . .

* * *

"_And it's helped us rather a lot, in case you haven't noticed!" said Hermione. "Whereas the wand would be bound to attract trouble – "_

I can't believe that Ron would chose the wand and Harry the stone when, clearly, this is the best choice. The Invisibility Cloak. The only one with the happy ending – and more importantly, the only one with little to no repercussions.

In an ideal world, that cloak would belong to me.

I don't begrudge Harry for having it, of course. Fate gave me a great brain, good friends, and magical talent. I'm blessed.

And heavens know he needs that cloak to avoid trouble.

But still . . . that cloak is simply the best choice possible, if one uses the proper logic.

For example – that wand that Ron is so fond of. Yes, I am aware that it's "unbeatable". (Which is pure rubbish in my opinion. For centuries, over and over, it's been proven that a wand is only as strong as the wizard or witch who uses it.) Yes, I am aware that without it you wouldn't need the cloak. (But Ron doesn't know the Disillusionment Charm anyways with his normal wand, so how on Earth would he go about doing it with the Elder Wand?) And yes, I am aware that it would bring fame and all that.

Unfortunately, it also brings a boatload of trouble in my opinion.

The minute one person starts boasting about a powerful wand – which is rubbish to begin with – other people start plotting. And the next thing you know, you end up dead. Like that fairytale says.

No, that wand would only bring trouble.

And, honestly, haven't we had quite enough trouble for the rest of our lives?

Yes, I thought so.

As for that Resurrection Stone. . . Goodness. It's even _more_ filled with rubbish than the wand. If I had to choose, I'd believe the wand over the stone. Nothing, absolutely _nothing_, can bring back the dead. It's been tried and tried for eons. Nothing's worked. The best and the brightest have worked on experiments for as long as people have lost loved ones, but it simply won't work. Physics, history, even plain, simply _logic_ – they all stack against such a notion.

Now, the cloak – _that_ is quite simply the best choice of the entire lot.

It protects and conceals. No big trouble with that. Well, unless some robber got his hands on it, but we _are_ witches and wizards. I think we can prevent a little theft.

It isn't all flashy, like the wand or stone _claims_ to be.

And it's 100% believable.

Well, all right, about 99% believable.

Mr. Lovegood claims that it lasts forever and isn't made of cloth with Bedazzling Hexes on it or cloth woven of Demiguise hair. Most cloaks are, as far as I'm aware. And I'm sure Harry's has _some_ relation to that. You can't just conjure such an Invisibility Cloak out of midair. You have to start from the prescribed method first.

Perhaps we've just been lucky. Perhaps Harry's cloak will wear off by his children's time. Or maybe it already is.

But in any case – the cloak helps us _avoid_ trouble instead of bringing it. I can't think of any repercussions of using it, especially not of the scale of the repercussions of losing control of the wand or stone. The stone could raise an army of Inferi. The wand could cause World War III.

The cloak?

Not so much a risk.

Of course, this is all hypothetical. Pure theory. Ideal. It won't happen.

But of course, I can dream. We all can.

That doesn't mean I'm going to go wild and dream for ridiculous goals like the Resurrection Stone or the Elder Wand – which are probably made up from dreams to begin with. My wand's served me just fine through these years, after all. And I don't need to raise the dead.

A cloak, on the other hand, is quite a manageable dream.

If only I had the Invisibility Cloak. . .

* * *

"_Well, if you could bring people back, we could have Sirius . . . Mad-Eye . . . Dumbledore . . . my parents . . ."_

I can see that by the time I've finished speaking, I've perhaps said a little too much. And maybe scared Hermione a little.

Then again, I've scared her plenty of times. And over a lot more important things too.

Like nearly dying.

Death.

I think it's been my worst enemy. Always. Every time I run into a dead end for something, it's usually because of death. My parents died. Sirius died. Mad-Eye died. Dumbledore died. My friends might die. Ginny might die. I might die.

And death _still_ hasn't taken Voldemort.

Yes, the wand sounds . . . interesting. But it also brings fame. And I've had my full share of fame from the scar on my forehead. It would be cool, I admit, for showing off and maybe kicking Malfoy's butt once and for all in a duel. But honestly? I don't want or need it. My wand is broken, and it is what I really need – not another wand for Voldemort to take from me.

And the cloak? I have an invisibility cloak. A perfectly good working one too. I don't need another one. True, we're getting taller and it's getting harder to squeeze under it and still not be seen, but we can cope. We always have. And it's not like Death's one will be specially bigger, custom made for our usage.

If I defeat Voldemort, it won't be with a cloak or a wand. I'll need to be myself. Out in the open. And the Horcruxes can't be destroyed with a wand.

They're cool tools. But I don't necessarily need them, exactly.

Voldemort can be beaten without them. Voldemort must be beaten without them. Voldemort _will_ be beaten without them.

_I_ will beat him.

With or without an Elder Wand and Invisibility Cloak.

But, of course . . . defeating him won't right all the wrongs he's caused.

I won't get Dumbledore back.

I won't get Sirius back.

I won't get my parents back.

And things will never be the same again. It'll be more fame, more fame I don't want. I'll perhaps slightly deserve it for once, but I still won't want it.

I looked into the Mirror of Erised once, and it didn't show me more fame from a powerful wand or an invisibility cloak.

It showed me my family. It showed me my friends. It showed my world at peace.

Only then will I will truly happy.

But I can't have my family back. My friends are changed by this war; we can't go back to eleven years old again. And the Muggle and Wizarding worlds will both take years to recover from this fresh assault from Voldemort.

No, the only route to my true happiness, I think, would be that stone.

I could have my godfather again.

I could bring back Dumbledore, even if only to question him.

I could have my parents for once in my life.

I could be happy.

Of course, all of this is just me daydreaming. Which I really shouldn't be doing. Voldemort's on the prowl. Hogwarts has been taken over. The Ministry has been overturned. People are dying left and right. Families are being torn apart. Muggles are being killed for sport. Muggle-borns and others are being tortured. Muggles are confused. Wizards and witches have gone into hiding. The entire world is in chaos.

I need to get moving too.

I need to stay focused. Those Horcruxes need to be identified, found, and destroyed, and I must aid in their destruction before I set my sights on facing off with Voldemort for one last time in the duel of our lives.

To fight.

To win or lose.

To triumph or die.

Winner take all.

Literally.

Once again, death will be part of that important stage of my life again, just as it was when it snatched my parents, took my godfather, and stole Dumbledore. It could be my ally or it could be my destruction.

I just hope it will be on my side for once.

I wish I could see the Mirror of Erised though. For one last time. To see my parents again one last time.

If only I had the Resurrection Stone. . .

**_The End_**

* * *

Quotes taken from The Deathly Hallows, pg. 414-416


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